the sara ochs blog

I hate the exercise. I really do. You know those people that love working out and cannot get enough of being super fit and go on and on about how awesome exercise endorphins are? Yeah. That is not me. Never has been and never will be. Now don’t get me wrong. I do not want to be overweight or lazy, but honestly, I do just enough of the exercise to get by and I am fine with that. 

I have tried running. Not so much. I understand that muscles get fatigued and you have to push through and all that jazz, but I could not get over the whole not being able to breathe thing. I CAN run a mile. I could probably MAKE myself run further than that but I think I have a mental block about the distance. One trip around our fake neighborhood is a mile and I can totally handle that. It is just that once I circle back around and see our house I am mentally done. I have a friend (I will call her Blanche) that loves to run. Trained for a half marathon and everything. Bless her heart, but I could never force myself to run for literally hours at a time. Blanche is super fit and I am sometimes jealous of her calf muscles, but then I get over it. 

So now more about me. I have an elliptical machine that I keep in the sunroom. We got it a couple years ago and I have a love slash hate relationship with it. I love the convenience of it, but hate that it is so boring. I mean it is really, really boring. The only way that I can make myself use this machine four to five times a week is to pull it directly under the ceiling fan, have a glass of water within reach, and watch some kind of show from Hulu on the computer. I try to create an environment that is the least like a gym or other gross place filled with sweaty people. (think Wild Adventures or college campuses or the walmarts)

My secret about the shows I choose to watch during my elliptical time is that they are ALWAYS about food or overweight people. I think that means that I have some kind of sickness or distorted view of the exercise. Because seriously, nothing motivates me to finish those last five boring minutes like watching “The Biggest Loser” or “Iron Chef: America” or “Cupcake Wars.” There. My secret is out. I like to watch people bigger than me exercise so I feel skinnier and a little more motivated to keep up with the exercise. I feel like I need an intervention after that confession.

Also another secret is that I am usually to lazy to put on real exercise shoes and I usually wear my slippers when I am on the elliptical. So it is pretty obvious that I am not too serious about the whole situation. Nothing says “exercise slacker” like an iced drink and fuzzy slippers. Whatever. It works for me and I can still button my pants so all is well that ends well. Especially if it is streaming on Hulu.