the sara ochs blog

The mister has often told me that I am slow when it comes to completing some tasks. I admit that it is true. I would not consider myself a slow poke, necessarily, but if certain chores were a race, then the mister would win eighty percent of the time. And who could deal with that. I would have to buy him trophies and my hands would hurt from all the clapping for him. Too much. I think I have shared that I am a little bitty tiny bit OCD and perhaps just a sliver of a smidge of a perfectionist. I think this is what slows me down. If I get in my head an idea of how something should be or look or work then I CANNOT STOP UNTIL IT WORKS OR LOOKS THE WAY I WANT IT TO. I think it really is a sickness. I mean it, y’all. So this self diagnosis of household chores ADD just compounds the issue. Allow me to explain. Say, for example, that I am cleaning the bathroom and then I notice that the shower curtain shrank the last time I washed it. Then I remember that I have an extra shower curtain in the linen closet so I change the shower curtain in the bathroom. Then I am dissatisfied with how the current wall decor looks with the “new” shower curtain and I start to scope out the house for pictures that could be moved from their current location into the bathroom. So I find two pictures that would look great with the shower curtain and I hang them on the walls and admire the awesomeness for a minute. But then the hallway that I took the pictures from is now empty and looks lonely and sad. But then I remember some printed scripture verses that were given to us but are currently rolled up and inside the computer desk drawer. So I go look at those verses and measure them and try to figure how to hang these in the hallway. I also try to think of creative ways to personalize the six 16 by 20 frames that I will need to actually hang those verses. Then I calculate that buying six larger frames will get super expensive and get a little discouraged. The verses get rolled back up and put back in the desk drawer. Then I walk back down the hallway and see the discarded pictures that had previously been very happy on the bathroom walls. I pick them up to put them away but then decide to walk through the house holding them in case inspiration strikes. Then I move some things around in the living room. Then I hang one of the pictures in the other bathroom. Then I realize that almost an hour has passed and THE BATHROOM STILL HAS NOT BEEN CLEANED. And then I weep a little and drink some coffee and curse the fact that large picture frames are expensive. Because if frames were cheaper none of this would have happened. But of course that was all hypothetical. Because if it had actually happened then I would be officially diagnosed with OCD-ADD and that would be terrible. Terrible because the only cure for this imaginary illness is coffee and getting the mister to massage my head when I sit next to him on the couch. Wait. That’s an awesome illness to have. Get me some coffee! I feel an “episode” coming on!