the sara ochs blog

I finally went on a preschool field trip with sweet Caroline. It was long and exciting and exhausting and I left with a new appreciation for teachers that do not require prescription drugs. The preschool classes have all been studying their city and neighborhoods and the services and products available in those areas. Pretty heavy stuff for a four and five year old crowd. The destinations for this “all around town” field trip were the post office, the library, a bank, a florist, a locally owned restaurant (praise! Mr Chick!), a grocery store, a hair salon, and the city works department. Yeah. All in one day with almost sixty preschool students. Off and on and off and on one school bus. Three teachers, three paraprofessionals, and me following the bus in my green minivan. 

We started at the post office. I learned that Cairo does not have much in the way of sorting capabilities and that all outgoing mail from the city of Cairo is sent to Albany for processing and then returned to be delivered. Seems antiquated to me but thank goodness for the government right. All the students got to climb through a mail truck and jump out the back. We got to see postal workers sort mail for delivery. And we learned the MOST IMPORTANT LESSON OF ALL: DO NOT RUN UP TO A MAIL TRUCK BECAUSE THE DRIVER CANNOT SEE YOU AND YOU WILL GET HIT BY A MAIL TRUCK. Seriously. That was the “one thing” that the tour guide emphasized more than anything else. Oh and also that the sorting machines have fast moving belts that could rip your fingers off and then you would not be able to count to ten. She really said that and demonstrated by tucking one finger under the others and trying and failing to count to ten on her fingers. So I will not be sending or receiving anything via the post office from this point forward. It is too dangerous.  

Next we went to the library. The fancy one that I might have mentioned before. We made one long snake line and walked the circumference of the library. We ended in the children’s area and listened to two books about pigs read from one of the librarians. She also had a pig puppet and kept stroking it in a creepy kind of way. Above the “secret garden” reading area were four butterflies that a local artist made for the library from recycled materials. The librarian asked the preschoolers to guess what those materials were. Hands were raised and suggestions were thrown out. Paper. Chips. String. No dice. The librarian offered a clue when she said that on Sundays your mom puts these on for church. I knew where she was going (obviously) but knew the four year olds would never guess. Except I was wrong. One girl has a fancy mommy and she knew what pantyhose are. Good for her. Caroline knows about tights but her knowledge ends there. Really I feel like I am doing her a service by not wearing pantyhose and thus hating my life. 

We left the library and walked the block to the bank on a back service road. Pause here to take an anti anxiety slash tranquilizer pill. 

And now we are at the bank. The group splits into two more manageable groups and tours the bank. We see the tellers, the desks, the window that the drive thru tellers run, then we went to the vault. Which, I have to say, was nothing like the movies. We saw a room of safety deposit boxes and one little girl told me she wanted one for her birthday. I asked her what she would put inside the box to keep safe. Her answer was that her birthday is on the sixteenth. So there. Then we got to see stacks of cash (a stack of $50K) and a bag full of quarters. A bag of quarters that valued at ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS. I wanted to steal it and have vending machine drink money for the rest of my life. We walked out of the vault without anyone stealing anything and headed back to the lobby. Then a little boy threw up. On two other kids and on the floor. And it was officially a field trip. 

Moving on to the florist. We saw a local florist and were told the God created flowers (true. He did.) and that we should have our moms come back to buy those flowers and also browse the jewelry and balloon bouquets. (side note: I could spell “bouquet” but not “balloon” without computer assistance) Mister florist then pulled out a giant vase filled with Easter eggs because it is close to Easter time. He wanted to give an egg to each of the students. He then asked if anyone had questions. Everyone did. Except they were all comments about the color of the eggs and inquiries about wether those eggs would open and if they had candy inside. No one cared about the flowers. I think the florist played his hand too soon. Don’t give out anything unless you are prepared for a mob of children bum rushing you and not caring about anything but what you are holding. But that is just my opinion.

And then it was lunch time. Mr Chick time. Angels sang and chicken was dipped in honey mustard and eaten like a boss. And all was well with the world. 

At that point in the field trip adventure I had to head back home to see about a little girl and fulfill my babysitting duties. I am not totally heartbroken that I had to leave early. I was spent and I have spent enough time in grocery stores and salons to last a lifetime. Add to that zero interest in the mechanics of trash trucks and I was happy to sip on my free refill from Mr Chick all the way back home. My hat tips to those brave and inexhaustible teachers. You took us all around town and lived to tell the story. Now if you will excuse me I need to rest because just typing this has exhausted me all over again. 

P.S. I was going to add pictures from the field trip to this post but then I realized that all the pictures showed the name of the school on the student’s shirts and I decided not to. The street I live on and the school my childrens attend is on a need to know basis. And you, my dears, do not need to know. Just use your imagination, please and thanks.