the sara ochs blog

Yesterday was not my best day. As we were loading the childrens into the van to leave for church I had a total meltdown. Like crying, screaming, stomping my feet, and slamming doors kind of meltdown. Yeah. It was horrible and I am embarrassed by the memory of my reaction. What prompted my reaction slash meltdown you might ask. Half a bagel and six blueberries were dropped on the ground. That’s it. It was accidental and not uncommon but I lost it.

Sunday mornings are a smidge stressful since we have decided to all ride together in one car instead of staggered departure times in two cars. Staff is required to be at the church by eight on Sunday mornings and that means that we have to leave NO LATER THAN 7:30 a.m. We have to leave a little earlier than that on school mornings but I rarely put on makeup or even actual clothes for that occasion. So it is a rush but we usually handle Sunday mornings just fine. Except yesterday. I lost it then I was mad at myself for losing it and that just compounded all the emotions. When I finally stopped the ugly cry that was happening my sweet mister said JUST what I needed to hear. He reached over and grabbed my hand and said that I needed to understand that I am not a bad mother that occassionally gets it right but that I am a great mom that sometimes gets frustrated with the logistics of getting five people out the door on time.

He forgave my outburst, my babies forgave my tearful apology, and now it is my turn to acknowledge how my family thinks of me (they love me! they think I am great!) and act on that. So to help me from lapsing into freak out mommy I have decided to tattoo “I AM A GOOD MOMMY!” on my forehead as a reminder. Well maybe not. But I will think it a lot and maybe even say it out loud if the situation warrants it.

I am a good mommy. I am a good mommy. (say it with me. with feeling. believe it.) I am a good mommy.