the sara ochs blog

So the neighbors behind us train hunting dogs. Apparently it is a lucrative business because they live in a mansion on an actual plantation. Who knew. So back to the dogs.

Each spring a new “batch” of dogs is carted to the area of their plantation that is closest to our property. The dogs are driven in on an animal control type kennel trailer pulled by a pickup. It seems to take approximately 15 men (maybe only three with extra loud voices) to train these dogs to heel, stay, come, and respond to duck calls without being terrorized by the shotgun noise that follows. The trainers have to make sure that the dogs continue to work after the eardrum piercing shotgun blast. Yeah. Except (can you tell we have been reading a lot of “Junie B. Jones: First Grader” books) this latest batch of dogs seems to be total duds. The men shout and scream and holler all. day. long. The dogs seem unaffected. OUR dogs however want to be part of the action. Wishing to transport themselves over the invisible fence and into the dog party (a big dog party) next door.

Today was the actual hunting training. So imagine a simulated duck call that sounds like a duck rape whistle then a simulated (maybe real and actual) shotgun blast then the whimpering and whining of dogs that wish only to bark at squirrels and pee on bushes. In my opinion this latest batch of dogs is a wash out.

The mister proposed that we offer to adopt any dogs that are too dumb to be trained as duck hunting companions. And we could do it every year so that our dogs would always be little and adorable. Like perma puppies. I vote yes except the question remains as to what to do with the old dogs. It seems complicated so I guess we will keep Maggie and Mollie dearest and wear earplugs all spring. Or learn to hunt ducks ourselves. At this point the shotgun blast does not even phase me.