Cairo chronicles…some observations
There is a surprising amount of bamboo grown in Grady County. No panda sightings though. Wait. I can never remember if it is pandas or koalas that eat bamboo. Whatever.
I pass two cemeteries on the way to the school. I always wonder if there are more dead residents of Cairo than alive residents. Then I start to kinda sing that “something something dead or alive” song by Bon Jovi.
When I wear actual clothes and have decent hair and makeup it seems to surprise the teachers at the school. That makes me feel kinda sorry for myself.
The crossing guard in front of the high school is the most enthusiastic and dedicated public servant I have ever seen. She waves her traffic batons and kicks and dances like Sally O’Malley at her finest. I once saw her buy frozen shrimp at the walmarts and ever since then I wonder if she eats them while she directs traffics. Probably not. I doubt anyone or anything eats frozen shrimp.
Whenever we pass a herd of bovine at least one of my childrens announce that they want to ride a cow. One day I might let them. One day I might get shot at by an angry farmer.
There are no organic or gluten free products in the Cairo walmarts. I do not need them but I would just like to know that they are available in the event I convince Madame Jodi Ink and her gingers to come visit.
There is a billboard for a county commissioner election that features the candidate and his wife. The wife teaches at the school my babies attend. The wife slash teacher never has morning or afternoon duty. I think it is because her face is on a billboard.
There are no speed bumps in Cairo.
There is a donut store called Syrup City Donuts. The sign features a sketch of outstretched hands and claims all the sweet treats are handmade. Believable.
Home haircut mullets are a popular hair style. I do not want to wrongly categorize everyone as having bad hair. There is some good hair in Cairo. Some. But most of it is bad.
Dogs are the first line of home defense. So much so that some delivery people are even afraid of our worthless dogs. “Our” Fed Ex man for example. He pulls up in front of our house and honks but refuses to get out of his truck. Apparently the tail wags do not convince him that Maggie and Mollie dearest are not your standard Grady County attack dogs.
